Her name is Aya

It's been a crazy 23 years, but everything stars with one step. One step on the treadmill, one word on the page, one more dollar in the bank. I'm working on a story. It's the story that has always been in my head and I'm just now starting to make the world that this story lives in. It's about a woman that I have modeled myself after for decades.

If you don't know me let me give you the run down. I have:
1)anxiety, complete with extreme paranoia
2)Depression, accompanied by suicidal tendencies
3)Sensory disorders, which make eating certain foods or wearing certain things difficult
4)PTSD of a rough childhood with some interesting circumstances.

So, with that I was a weird kid. I often felt hopeless, and like I could never be happy with being inside my own head. So I decided not to. As a kid I was required to go to bed at 8pm. When the lights went out, it wasn't always bed time for me. (Sorry mom) I transported myself to another world. I was an athlete, a fighter, a warrior. This warrior was the right hand of the Queen, a user of telepathy and telekinetic, a valued member of a society that had much respect for each other and the world they lived upon. She fought off armies, kept track of threats and was often the go to person in a crisis.

She was everything I'm not.

So as a kid I lived through her, often staying up until I would only get a few hours of sleep before school. I explored her world, her friends, her childhood. I saw all of the beauty that was this world of magic and wonder. I saw how hard one person can fall but still not quite break. As I grew older I learned of psychology. Suddenly situations got more complicated, emotions came into play, politics became a part of the world. My head exploded with ideas and stories of all of the people in this world.

Eventually something shifted. She went from being the story I told myself at bedtime to the goal of who I wanted to be. There have been many different versions of her as she has grown with me, but I always make her just a bit better than I think I am.

She's my role model, friend, soul mate, companion, first love, and she'll stay with me forever. She deserves to have a voice as she finally has a name.

I can't wait for you all to meet her.